Stages of an employee - who are you????

Neophyte - Comes to work on time. Leaves a little early. Takes long

lunches off site. Majority of life is still outside of work. Has no

real responsibility. Happy to do any task, like cleaning crumbs out

of your keyboard. Cannot believe s/he is getting paid so much to talk

to college buddies on the phone and surf the Internet all day. Life

is great!

Entry Level - Arrives and leaves on time. Feels important when boss

asks him/her to work late and does so without hesitation. Brags to

friends, "I chose the typeface for the IBM presentation". Considers a

$25 bonus as indicator of undying company loyalty. Eats at desk on

occasion. Life is pretty good.

Worker - Leaves late occasionally. Never calls in sick just to take

the day off anymore. Is entirely responsible for meaningless

projects, like changing "Systems Group" to "Technology Group" in all

company documentation. Still comes into work with hangovers.

Personal life is unknowingly vanishing. Is excited by a tiny raise

and small promotion. Life is good.

Employee - Arrives early on occasion. Leaves late fairly often. Eats

lunch at desk every day. Only has 1 or 2 remaining friends outside of

work. Is actually responsible for real work that, if screwed up, will

not damage the company significantly. Still has time to use company

perks like hockey tickets. Life is OK.

Level 2 - Arrives early. Usually the last one to leave. Life is

consumed by reports containing meaningless blocks of numbers. Derives

all self-esteem from company and superiors' approbation. Spends

entire paycheck on objects that elevate status and image. Is totally

immersed in work and loves it. Can do nothing but collapse in front

of the TV to watch 90210 the few hours s/he is home. Life is

stressful.

Level 3 - Same as Level 2 except their work actually affects the

success of the firm. Doesn't enjoy work anymore even though the

salary is obscene and it keeps them away from their spouse all day.

Considers quitting, but has large mortgage payment and doesn't want to

give up the wide screen TV. Doesn't know what to do on a day off.

Life is hell.

Manager - Tells other people what to do. Loves the power. Has to

continually prove worthiness to managers up the food chain. Always

works late in order to do the real work that can't be done during the

day. Has 5 times as many business outfits as friends. Home life

starts to break down. Life is stressful.

Middle Manager - Spends all day describing things with buzzwords.

Considers key employees, pens, and contents of recycling bin as

resources. Still works late, but only for a conference or client.

Sometimes in winter, sees the sun after it rises or before it sets,

unlike Level 2s, 3s, and managers. Has no friends or home life. Life

is OK.

Upper Manager - Likes looking at reports and talking at meetings.

Usually leaves work on time, except when leaving early to play golf

with other Upper Managers. Hardly ever needs to brown nose anyone

anymore. No longer owns jeans. Cannot remember ever taking public

transportation. Life is good.

Executive - Despite having vast riches and grown children, chooses to

come to work because it's fun. Says things like, "We need more market

penetration in Liberia" and over the next few months, it happens. If

it doesn't, the executive must do even more work by saying, "Why don't

we have market penetration in Liberia?" Magically, it happens and

executive is called a visionary. Life is great!